Is Your School Principal a Psychopath?*
Joe Moncarz, February 2022
*This also applies to deputy principals, assistant principals, school owners, and any upper management of a school
Hey, don't laugh! This is a real thing. Psychopaths aren't just murderers locked up in prison. In fact, most murderers are not psychopaths. Sure, about 25% of the prison population is made up of psychopaths, but most psychopaths are NOT in prison. Just like most CEOs are not locked up, but running Pfizer, Exxon-Mobil, Raytheon, Bayer, Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Facebook, and many businesses all around you. And just like most politicians are not behind bars, but out in freedom, passing legislation, taking uppers, and kissing babies. And just like most poisonous snakes are NOT in serpentariums. (Actually this is a poor example, and I apologize to snakes, because snakes aren't psychopathic. They just don't want you to step on them.) The point is, these are dangerous personalities, and they're out and about, circulating in the community like an Elon Musk tweet or a Bill Gates vaccine, causing immense damage. And that also means the principal at your local school may also be a psychopath, in which case you might want to either find a different school, start a petition, or form a posse.
But let's not limit ourselves to psychopathy. Psychopathy is just one variation on Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD). Narcissists are just as dangerous and make up an estimated 6.2% of the general population. (With some estimates going up to 16%.) Both of these personality disorders are often very similar, characterized by a lack of empathy and being self-absorbed. They are excellent actors, prolific liars, and they manipulate others in order to control them and use them. They can be either anti-social, in which case it's obvious, or they can be prosocial and give the appearance of normality – which is much more dangerous. Since humans are a social animal, a lack of empathy is a very dangerous thing. Which is why there's lead in your drinking water, systemic poverty, an ocean full of plastic, nuclear weapons, deadly chemicals on your food, and untested, experimental vaccines in your blood. This list can be much longer.
There are a lot of psychopaths and narcissists. Estimates at psychopathy in the general population are about 1%. That may not sound like much, but that means a small country like New Zealand has 45,000 psychopaths. That's too many, if you ask me (which you did, by reading this far.) But wait. Consider that the United States has a population of 330 million people, which means that it has 3.3 million psychopaths. (That certainly explains a lot.) And in a world of 8 billion people, that means 80 million people are psychopaths. That number goes up when you include narcissists, to 279,000 narcissists in New Zealand, 20 million in the U.S., and 500 million narcissists on the planet.
And considering that psychopaths and narcissists gravitate to positions of power and authority over others, you can bet your corn muffins that the odds of your local school principal being a psychopath are quite high. In my own experience in education, I worked for at least two narcissist principals in mainstream schools, I met at least two others, and I actually ran a school with a psychopathic/narcissistic business partner. This leaves out the deranged Head of English I once worked with for three years, who used to routinely lie about colleagues, insult students, and rip up their work.
So now to the most important question: How can you tell? Well, it's all about looking for the tell-tale signs and red flags, so that you can steer clear and warn others. And remember that what you're looking for is not just one or two of the following behaviors, but several of these behaviors that are repeated. In general, these behaviors are a manifestation of a lack of empathy, superficiality and shallowness, a superiority complex, deep insecurity, manipulation and deceit, objectification of others, and the absolute need for control.
Ask yourself:
The bottom line is, by virtue of the number of narcissists and psychopaths there are, and the fact that they love positions of authority and power, the odds are very high that a school principal will be a narcissist or psychopath. Remember that at first, they may be very slick, charming, and persuasive. But that's just the honeymoon period, and it will usually fade with time.
The other thing to know is that they never change. There is no undoing psychopathy or narcissism. They may learn to fake “normal”, but it's still just faking, and sooner or later you'll get bitten. Like Siegfried and Roy torturing wild tigers and forcing them to jump through hoops for Las Vegas crowds. Tigers belong in the wild and eventually, someone was going to get bitten – in this case, Roy. (Again, this analogy does not imply that tigers are psychopathic, just that tigers will never be domesticated.)
When you talk with your potentially narcissist or psychopathic principal, purposely contradict or disagree with them and see what happens. Stand up for your dissenting position and see what happens. Say, “I've heard that there are some issues with management at this school” and see what happens. Ask them about why former employees or colleagues left, and see what they say.
Poke and prod them. If you do, they will often give themselves away.
And then form a posse!
Sources and Further Reading
Brown, Sandra. (2010 Auguest 28). “60 Million People in the U.S. Negatively Affected By Someone Else's Pathology.” Psychology Today. Retrieved at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pathological-relationships/201008/60-million-people-in-the-us-negatively-affected-someone-elses
Carlson, E. N., Vazire, S., & Oltmanns, T. F. (2011). “You probably think this paper's about you: Narcissists' perceptions of their personality and reputation.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 101(1), 185–201. Retrieved at https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51158367_You_Probably_Think_This_Paper's_About_You_Narcissists'_Perceptions_of_Their_Personality_and_Reputation
Eddy, Bill. (2018). 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High Conflict Personalities. TarcherPerigee.
Eddy, Bill. (2018 April 30). “Are Narcissists and Sociopaths Increasing?” Psychology Today. Retrieved at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/201804/are-narcissists-and-sociopaths-increasing
Gillespie, David. (2017). Taming Toxic People: the science of identifying psychopaths at work and at home. Macmillan Australia.
Hare, Robert. (1999). Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us. Guilford Press.
Harms, William. (2013 April 24). “Psychopaths are not neurally equipped to have concern for others.” University of Chicago. Retrieved at https://news.uchicago.edu/story/psychopaths-are-not-neurally-equipped-have-concern-others
Menkes, Justin. (2013 July 4). “Narcissism: The Difference Between High Achievers and Leaders.” Harvard Business Review. Retrieved at https://hbr.org/2012/07/narcissism-the-difference-betw
Morf, Carolyn and Rhodewalt, Frederick. (2001). “Unraveling the Paradoxes of Narcissism:
A Dynamic Self-Regulatory Processing Model.” Psychological Inquiry. Retrieved at http://persweb.wabash.edu/facstaff/hortonr/articles%20for%20class/morf%20and%20rhodewalt.pdf
Sanz-Garcia, Ana, Gesteira, Clara, Sanz Jesus, and Garcia-Vera, Maria Paz. (2021 August 5). “Prevalence of Psychopathy in the General Adult Population: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” Frontiers in Psychology. Retrieved at https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.661044/full
Stinson FS, Dawson DA, Goldstein RB, Chou SP, Huang B, Smith SM, Ruan WJ, Pulay AJ, Saha TD, Pickering RP, Grant BF. (2008 July ). “Prevalence, correlates, disability, and comorbidity of DSM-IV narcissistic personality disorder: results from the wave 2 national epidemiologic survey on alcohol and related conditions.” Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. 69(7):1033-45. Retrieved at https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18557663/
Stout, Martha. (2006). The Sociopath Next Door. Harmony.
Hey, don't laugh! This is a real thing. Psychopaths aren't just murderers locked up in prison. In fact, most murderers are not psychopaths. Sure, about 25% of the prison population is made up of psychopaths, but most psychopaths are NOT in prison. Just like most CEOs are not locked up, but running Pfizer, Exxon-Mobil, Raytheon, Bayer, Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Facebook, and many businesses all around you. And just like most politicians are not behind bars, but out in freedom, passing legislation, taking uppers, and kissing babies. And just like most poisonous snakes are NOT in serpentariums. (Actually this is a poor example, and I apologize to snakes, because snakes aren't psychopathic. They just don't want you to step on them.) The point is, these are dangerous personalities, and they're out and about, circulating in the community like an Elon Musk tweet or a Bill Gates vaccine, causing immense damage. And that also means the principal at your local school may also be a psychopath, in which case you might want to either find a different school, start a petition, or form a posse.
But let's not limit ourselves to psychopathy. Psychopathy is just one variation on Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD). Narcissists are just as dangerous and make up an estimated 6.2% of the general population. (With some estimates going up to 16%.) Both of these personality disorders are often very similar, characterized by a lack of empathy and being self-absorbed. They are excellent actors, prolific liars, and they manipulate others in order to control them and use them. They can be either anti-social, in which case it's obvious, or they can be prosocial and give the appearance of normality – which is much more dangerous. Since humans are a social animal, a lack of empathy is a very dangerous thing. Which is why there's lead in your drinking water, systemic poverty, an ocean full of plastic, nuclear weapons, deadly chemicals on your food, and untested, experimental vaccines in your blood. This list can be much longer.
There are a lot of psychopaths and narcissists. Estimates at psychopathy in the general population are about 1%. That may not sound like much, but that means a small country like New Zealand has 45,000 psychopaths. That's too many, if you ask me (which you did, by reading this far.) But wait. Consider that the United States has a population of 330 million people, which means that it has 3.3 million psychopaths. (That certainly explains a lot.) And in a world of 8 billion people, that means 80 million people are psychopaths. That number goes up when you include narcissists, to 279,000 narcissists in New Zealand, 20 million in the U.S., and 500 million narcissists on the planet.
And considering that psychopaths and narcissists gravitate to positions of power and authority over others, you can bet your corn muffins that the odds of your local school principal being a psychopath are quite high. In my own experience in education, I worked for at least two narcissist principals in mainstream schools, I met at least two others, and I actually ran a school with a psychopathic/narcissistic business partner. This leaves out the deranged Head of English I once worked with for three years, who used to routinely lie about colleagues, insult students, and rip up their work.
So now to the most important question: How can you tell? Well, it's all about looking for the tell-tale signs and red flags, so that you can steer clear and warn others. And remember that what you're looking for is not just one or two of the following behaviors, but several of these behaviors that are repeated. In general, these behaviors are a manifestation of a lack of empathy, superficiality and shallowness, a superiority complex, deep insecurity, manipulation and deceit, objectification of others, and the absolute need for control.
Ask yourself:
- Do they love to talk about themselves?
- Are they overly concerned with how they appear?
- Does it seem like when you talk that they're not even listening?
- Do they cut you off repeatedly when you're speaking?
- Do they have problems with confidentiality? Do they like talking about other parents and kids and sharing information they shouldn't be sharing?
- Do you sometimes wonder if they're lying?
- Do they like to “play around” with the numbers?
- Do they like putting down others? Do they like to gossip?
- Do they frequently use sarcasm?
- Are they extremely sensitive to criticism?
- Do they like to blame everyone else?
- Do they take credit for everything?
- Do they refuse to put agreements in writing?
- Do they “forget” that they agreed to something? Or do they simply deny that they ever agreed to it?
- Do they expect everyone to do exactly as they say, when they say it?
- Do they surround themselves with “yes men”?
- Do they frequently overreact? Do they want to expel students or remove staff unjustly?
- Do they yell at or insult teachers and staff in front of others?
- Do they yell at or insult parents?
- Do they bully and intimidate others to get their way?
- Do they frequently use threats?
- Do they speak with strong emotions, rather than rational thought?
- Do they make bold statements without any supporting evidence?
- Do they seem to get angry over trivial matters?
- Are they racist?
- Do their kids tell other kids (or teachers) about how they yell and scream at home?
- Do they smack or hit their kids?
The bottom line is, by virtue of the number of narcissists and psychopaths there are, and the fact that they love positions of authority and power, the odds are very high that a school principal will be a narcissist or psychopath. Remember that at first, they may be very slick, charming, and persuasive. But that's just the honeymoon period, and it will usually fade with time.
The other thing to know is that they never change. There is no undoing psychopathy or narcissism. They may learn to fake “normal”, but it's still just faking, and sooner or later you'll get bitten. Like Siegfried and Roy torturing wild tigers and forcing them to jump through hoops for Las Vegas crowds. Tigers belong in the wild and eventually, someone was going to get bitten – in this case, Roy. (Again, this analogy does not imply that tigers are psychopathic, just that tigers will never be domesticated.)
When you talk with your potentially narcissist or psychopathic principal, purposely contradict or disagree with them and see what happens. Stand up for your dissenting position and see what happens. Say, “I've heard that there are some issues with management at this school” and see what happens. Ask them about why former employees or colleagues left, and see what they say.
Poke and prod them. If you do, they will often give themselves away.
And then form a posse!
Sources and Further Reading
Brown, Sandra. (2010 Auguest 28). “60 Million People in the U.S. Negatively Affected By Someone Else's Pathology.” Psychology Today. Retrieved at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pathological-relationships/201008/60-million-people-in-the-us-negatively-affected-someone-elses
Carlson, E. N., Vazire, S., & Oltmanns, T. F. (2011). “You probably think this paper's about you: Narcissists' perceptions of their personality and reputation.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 101(1), 185–201. Retrieved at https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51158367_You_Probably_Think_This_Paper's_About_You_Narcissists'_Perceptions_of_Their_Personality_and_Reputation
Eddy, Bill. (2018). 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High Conflict Personalities. TarcherPerigee.
Eddy, Bill. (2018 April 30). “Are Narcissists and Sociopaths Increasing?” Psychology Today. Retrieved at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/201804/are-narcissists-and-sociopaths-increasing
Gillespie, David. (2017). Taming Toxic People: the science of identifying psychopaths at work and at home. Macmillan Australia.
Hare, Robert. (1999). Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us. Guilford Press.
Harms, William. (2013 April 24). “Psychopaths are not neurally equipped to have concern for others.” University of Chicago. Retrieved at https://news.uchicago.edu/story/psychopaths-are-not-neurally-equipped-have-concern-others
Menkes, Justin. (2013 July 4). “Narcissism: The Difference Between High Achievers and Leaders.” Harvard Business Review. Retrieved at https://hbr.org/2012/07/narcissism-the-difference-betw
Morf, Carolyn and Rhodewalt, Frederick. (2001). “Unraveling the Paradoxes of Narcissism:
A Dynamic Self-Regulatory Processing Model.” Psychological Inquiry. Retrieved at http://persweb.wabash.edu/facstaff/hortonr/articles%20for%20class/morf%20and%20rhodewalt.pdf
Sanz-Garcia, Ana, Gesteira, Clara, Sanz Jesus, and Garcia-Vera, Maria Paz. (2021 August 5). “Prevalence of Psychopathy in the General Adult Population: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” Frontiers in Psychology. Retrieved at https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.661044/full
Stinson FS, Dawson DA, Goldstein RB, Chou SP, Huang B, Smith SM, Ruan WJ, Pulay AJ, Saha TD, Pickering RP, Grant BF. (2008 July ). “Prevalence, correlates, disability, and comorbidity of DSM-IV narcissistic personality disorder: results from the wave 2 national epidemiologic survey on alcohol and related conditions.” Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. 69(7):1033-45. Retrieved at https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18557663/
Stout, Martha. (2006). The Sociopath Next Door. Harmony.