Now that I'm out of jail, let's clear up a few things. First, there was only one abuser in that house, and it was not me. My partner was abusing me and her kids for four years - in many ways, but above all her specialty, emotionally and psychologically.2 During my time in prison, four psychologists - yes, that's right, four - assessed me and all concluded that I demonstrated not only “no psychopathology” and “no deviant sexual interest,” but furthermore they thought I should not have been in jail, that I posed no danger to anyone, that I was “honorable,” and that I would make an excellent father. Big surprise.

Just consider: I was the only one at home who supported and respected her kids. I was the only one to treat them fairly. Unlike their mother, I never yelled at them, never threatened them, never hit them, never insulted them, never swore at them, never bullied them, never used emotional blackmail, and never shamed them. They were afraid of her, not me. I was the calm, patient, and stable one. I was the only one to reassure them everyday and to tell them they were loved. That's why they were telling everyone that they preferred me to their own parents - right up until a few weeks before I was arrested. Heck, they used to tell their mom the same thing to her face! She was deathly afraid that she would arrested for her abusiveness and that I would gain custody of her kids.3 These are all facts. And I can prove all of it.

I can also prove that she was frequently threatening to lie to the police and other authorities in order to get rid of me. I can prove that she was using her kids to get back at me and other people. I can prove that for two years she was trying to “turn” school parents against me, and to turn her kids against me. I can prove that she frequently used sexual accusations to get her way and bully me. And that she would force her views onto her kids, demanding that they mirror her opinions at all times - i.e., her “love” was conditional on total obedience. I can tell you how she had hired a private investigator to watch me (like her ex-husband did before) and still never could find any “dirt.” I can tell you how she had her ex-husband regularly interrogate her kids “like the police” searching for dirt about me or the school. Still nothing. She hated that I was "too fucking moral."

So what happened? Now, I can tell you about my crooked lawyer who took all my life's savings and threw the case, for example, by leaving out evidence, not following my instructions, not cross-examining properly, cutting me off repeatedly when I was on the stand, and colluding with the prosecutor to insulate my ex from scrutiny. I can tell you about obvious lying by witnesses and evidence of coaching of witnesses. I can tell you that there is proof that my ex forced her daughter to give a police statement against her will. I can tell you about the prosecutor who lied repeatedly in court. I can tell you about the judge who contradicted his own warnings to the jury and showed clear bias. He didn't even bother to explain to the jury what “beyond reasonable doubt” means. I can tell you about the school mothers who lost all sense of reason and projected their own sexual hang-ups and childhood traumas and biases on to me - and believe me, they each had plenty.

See, I can tell you all of that, but none of that actually matters because of this: Facts don't matter. My ex-partner desperately wanted me out of the picture, she would do anything to get her way, and the State was more than happy to oblige.

How could we expect any other outcome? Look at the school I created. Read its curriculum. Look at my ideas! My ideas make people uncomfortable. Not because there's anything wrong or unethical with them - but because they expose the hypocrisy and brutality of the State and all its institutions. The prosecutor even made references to my library (which contained many books by anarchist thinkers) and to my website writings, in an attempt to bait me into talking about them on the stand. And he used my ideas about education to alienate me from the jury. It's easy to think the worst about "the radical activist tree-hugging hippie."

I can go on about how the jury, like most juries, are made up of people who don't have a clue about basic legal concepts such as innocent until proven guilty, burden of proof, beyond reasonable doubt, and Blackstone's Ratio. And the judge, of course, made no attempt to inform them. The jury members, no doubt dumbed-down by a life of TV, cell phones, the media, and schools, could only be expected to comply obediently.

Mark Twain wrote a hundred and fifty years ago: “The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty, and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.” (quoted in Shepard 2005, p.1) That seems about right.

So between my ex, the State, and the jury, I was doomed. As Professor Daniel Medwed, Distinguished Professor of Law and Criminal Justice at Northeastern University, recently said, “[T]here is an unjustified faith in the system.” (Newburger 2024) What an understatement.

Once I lost the trial, even though I had more than ample grounds for a re-trial, there was no point. First of all, why would I expect the legal system to behave any differently the second time? Why would I want to be abused by lawyers and judges and juries a second time? I also had no money left for a lawyer (and court-appointed lawyers are even less reliable.) But more important, I would be an idiot to give my ex, a compulsive liar and abuser, another chance to take the stand!

Thus, in order to get out at the first parole hearing, I did what countless wrongfully-convicted prisoners do: I took the blame. It's known as the “innocent prisoner's dilemma.” (Medwed 2008)4 You see, in New Zealand, no one is granted early parole unless they enable the toxic legal system by just taking the blame, regardless of reality. Who cares if you're innocent - if you want out, just say you did it! It's just like in school: tell the teachers what they want to hear, and you'll pass.

In the end I said what I had to say, to get out as fast as possible from the thoroughly abusive prison environment - just as lawyers say whatever they have to say in order to lock people up, regardless of the truth. And just as my ex had been saying whatever she had to say to remove me from the picture and get me locked away.

The bottom line is, as long as I had so much proof of who the real abuser was, my ex needed me locked up. She told the prosecutor she would not allow a plea deal to be offered to me. (I would not have taken one anyway.) Because she wanted me locked up. And two years later, when the parole board spoke with her, she told them not to release me - by complaining to them about the book I wrote! (A book in which I highlight her abusiveness.) Which proves my point. You see, what is most important to her are people's perceptions: she had to continue to make sure people saw her as the victim. That's why she wanted me in jail in the first place.

Meanwhile, I spent two years in prison, all so they could tell me that I was no danger to anyone and would make an excellent father. Oh, thanks for the news! The legal system is a joke, made up of quacks, buffoons, crooks, con artists, liars, idiotic juries, sadistic prison staff, and grumpy old judges. And this is not including the prisoners, who are often far less dangerous and “criminal” than the lawyers and judges (and corporate accountants, wink wink.)

But at least I only had to endure two years of state-sanctioned torture and abuse. The real tragedy is that her kids paid the price and continue to, and that the wonderful Deep Green Bush-School was forced to close. People will believe what they want to, but all provable facts point to what I've been saying all along: there was only one abuser in that house, and it wasn't me.

Notes

1 Estimates of the percentage of wrongfully convicted prisoners range from 1% to 10%, though I have also found an estimate of 15-20%. (Deskovic 2014, Moskovska 2021) Most sources estimate around 5%, which equates to one out of every twenty prisoners. Which is still way too high for a legal system that claims to be legitimate.

2 The police don't give a rat's ass about emotional and psychological abuse. They don't recognize it, even though the American Psychological Association says it's just as harmful (if not more so) as other forms of abuse. (“Childhood” 2014) The police, reflecting society, are just obsessed with sex and violence. And emotional intelligence is certainly not a prerequisite for joining the Force.

3 This was not actually a custody dispute, but what's crucial is that my ex viewed it as a custody dispute, and was very afraid that I would gain custody, fearing that her abusiveness would be exposed. Then consider that studies indicate that the majority of abuse allegations arising during custody or divorce proceedings are false. (Harlow 2019)

4 On the Innocent Prisoner's Dilemma, Daniel Medwed writes: “Given the stark reality of prison life—its everyday brutality and ample deprivations—the yearning to escape can overwhelm even the strongest and most stoic of people and prompt an innocent prisoner to surrender to the lure of “admitting” guilt before the parole board to boost the odds of a parole grant.” (Medwed 2008, p.529)


References

“Childhood Psychological Abuse as Harmful as Sexual or Physical Abuse.” (2014). American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2014/10/psychological-abuse

Deskovic, Jeffrey. (Dec 9, 2014). “Recent Rash of Exonerations Only the Surface: Many More Remain Wrongfully Imprisoned.” The Huffington Post. Retrieved from https://static1.squarespace.com/static/57dad181b3db2bce9909cae7/t/585c5747197aea9852a07f5e/1482446663852/Recent_Rash_of_Exonerations.pdf

Medwed, Daniel. (2008). “The Innocent Prisoner’s Dilemma: Consequences of Failing to Admit Guilt at Parole Hearings.” Iowa Law Review, Vol 93. Retrieved from https://www.prisonlegalnews.org/media/publications/medwed_the_innocent_prisoners_dilemma_consequences_of_failing_to_admit_guilt_at_parole_hearings_2008.pdf

Moskovska, Adriana. (Oct 13, 2021). “33 Startling Wrongful Convictions Statistics [2024 Update].” The High Court. Retrieved from https://thehighcourt.co/wrongful-convictions-statistics/

Newburger, Emily. (Feb 13, 2024). “Why do innocent people go to, and stay in, prison?” Harvard Law Today. Retrieved from https://hls.harvard.edu/today/why-do-innocent-people-go-to-and-stay-in-prison/

Shepard, Randall T. (2005). “Jury Trials Aren't What They Used to Be.” IU Robert H. McKinney
School of Law. Retrieved from https://mckinneylaw.iu.edu/practice/law-reviews/ilr/pdf/vol38p859.pdf




Joey Moncarz